Some asshole didn’t get the memo that any overt display of human sexuality is a disgusting indulgence that needs to be driven into the shadows by our collective shame. What did he do? He offered a demonstration of female ejaculation in an academic setting for students interested in a first hand look at sexuality. First off, the existing sanctioned channels for showing naked people are porn, seedy clubs, and the internet. Second, he claims that the exercise was completely optional and invitees had been explicitly warned, but that’s like giving Americans the choice to partake in free french fries after warning them the french fries in question are particularly unhealthy due to their exotic nature. There is no choice.

Luckily for us, shame and disapproval has already been decreed against this outrageous display and I would like to extend my complete and utter gratitude.

Thanks

Northwestern University President, Morton Schapiro

Sincerely,

Jack Wellborn